what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
