Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
