my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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