I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
