Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize