Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
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my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.