my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
