Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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