ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
