two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
