There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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