I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
