didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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