oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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