So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
