Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
