I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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