I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
