Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
