Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
