Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
