And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
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Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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