Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
