I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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