No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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