So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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