So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't turn off my feet"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize