PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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