It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
