If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
