Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
