so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I died a long time ago.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
