bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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