Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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