I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
