wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just google imaged poop.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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