Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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