Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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