ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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