I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
