I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
