Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
only you would photoshop your dick
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
