I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
