You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
