Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
