Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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