In the future we'll all be gay
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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