i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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