my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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