i just wanna soil my oats bro
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
