Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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