I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
