I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
