stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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