just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
