it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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