she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
