The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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