For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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