I didn't shave. On purpose
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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