i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
