So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
