Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
