Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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