and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
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I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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