It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
