I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
